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Hello you wonderful perverts,
Believe it or not, out of 56 people to whom I sent my
last email from Thailand, you were the only four
people who requested details about the live sex show.
The only four. That means you are in the like top 10%
most perverse percentile, at least amongst my friends. Congratulations, that's quite a feat! Actually, I'm
assuming that most people just didn't want their
identities revealed and figured they'd ask in person.
So, congrats again, to the perverse and proud!
Ok, so quick details.
After several drinks and a couple of incredible Thai
massages (the clothed kind), my fellow adventurer and
perv in crime, Joey, and I hailed a tuk tuk in search
of one of these famous shows. Joe talked to the
driver, and as Joe spoke no Thai and the driver spoke
limited English, Joe says to the guy in a terrible
American-guy-speaks-with-Thai-accent-in-overly-loud-voice,
"WE WAN SEE SEC SHO!!" to which the driver says, "Ping pong? Ping pong sho?" and we nod yes. An interesting
beginning to this adventure for sure.
A long winding ride through some of the skankiest
parts of town brings us to the door of a club, at
which point we are met by a very well dressed Asian
woman, who helps us out of the tuk tuk and walks us
inside. She originally quotes the price as about 1500 baht (or 30 dollars) and we talk her down to 800—a
very pricey event in Thailand. I am made to leave my
camera in a safe outside the main room, as I guess
these folks don't want their place in history set in
print.
We walk in and notice about 5 or so other foreign
couples, and a couple of parties of Asian men
scattered about the room. We walked in, actually, at
the grand finale, but as the show just repeats over
and over again I will tell you about that last. So,
there are about 6 or so acts. The first several are
Asian girls (usually about 3 on stage at a time) doing
various impressive things with their vaginal cavities.
One has a prop of a big birthday cake with candles all
over it. As happy birthday to you plays in the
background, she proceeds to blow them all out one by
one while crouching over the cake. Ok. That seems
do-able. Another act involves the picking up and
putting down of various items on stage by the use of a
pair of tong-like things inserted inside the performer. Yet another, more eerie one involved a
woman with a whole string of razor blades that she
inserted inside her nether regions, then slowly pulled
out, attached together still. She then held up a piece
of paper and cut it with the extracted blades. Ouch! One of the most interactive ones involved two
girls, lying on their backs near the front of the
stage, with flaccid balloons (he he) inside them.
They then blew them up via the great system of muscles
and space that is the vagina and tied them off. At
this point, they attempted to call over a couple of
members of the audience, and nearly everyone in the
audience tried to look away, feigning muteness all of
a sudden. I nearly thought Joey was going to push me
up there, and finally a Canadian guy next to me (there
with his wife, they were both a little weirded out by
the whole thing) was persuaded. He and another fellow
had to stand there, with balloons held above their
heads, while the girls then shot little darts out of
their, yup, you guessed it, and popped the balloons.
I must say, it was pretty amazing. such great aim. I wonder
what kind of insurance they have.
My favorite one, and the one which involved the least
freak-show-ness, was one in which a lone woman and man
came on stage with only black lights on them. The man
crouched down in front and began painting on her
body...very fast, swift, and smooth strokes---a
phoenix on her stomach, a dragonfly on her shoulder,
lotus blossoms around everywhere, a dragon up her
back, etc. all set to the tune of an Allison Krauss
song being covered by some country musician I didn't
recognize. It was really quite beautiful, and when he
was done, she sort of sauntered around the stage in a
slow dance, which gave the impression that the various
creatures and things were dancing in air.
So, onto the finale. A man and woman walk out,
totally naked. She lays on the stage, while he does a
quick warm up of his power ranger (sorry about that).
Very hokey techno music plays, while they begin to
engage in full intercourse. They keep to the rhythm
of the music, switching positions about every 8
measures or so. These folks are quite flexible,
really. They demonstrated maybe 20 positions, many of
which involved the woman having to stretch, bend, and
hold onto things above her head in various difficult
ways. The last position was one in which both man and
woman were hanging from their arms from beams on the
ceiling, facing each other, with legs and knees
interlocked, horizontal to the floor, about 10 feet
up. The crowd applauds these acrobatics, and then
they return to the floor for a close up of a climax.
He speeds up ahead of the rhythm for 20 seconds or so
and that's it--no gory shots, just a climax. As we
had seen this part when we first walked in, I noticed
that they did this same thing both times, which meant
either he fakes this last part or he seriously has an
orgasm every 45 minutes, 10 times a day. Wow. Now
that's impressive.
So there ya go folks. The freak show of live sex in
Bangkok. Been there, done that, I can die now.
Talk to you soon,
Camille
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